Is There A Double Meaning?

In school, I laugh and smile a lot. Having fun with friends, doing naughty stuff like eating sweet ( don't tell anyone) and more.

But at home, I seem expressionless. My face seem to look sorrowful and all.
Its like, I don't feel happy at home, my face says.

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Scene Taken Today :-

Justine : Why you never smile wan? You don't like us is it?

Me : *No Reply. Only blinks eyes*

Justine : Eeeeee... Only blink eyes. Never reply...

Katrina : Even if you don't like them you sure like me right? *grins*

Christine : So bad la you always say like that..

My Thoughts : Even I don't know the answer...

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I wonder, I am putting on a mask?
Behind the smiling face, do I have a different expression?

Maybe I am always sad, not expressionless.
Sorrow is what I feel when feeling lonely in a room full of people.

Or is it, I'm more comfortable around friends, or what?
Am I secretly sad with them, or not?

Maybe, its just a very simple concept.
Perhaps its just I don't want to get hurt or teased or laughed at, so I hide away.
Putting on an expressionless or blur face, pretending I didn't hear or see or understand.
Pretending that, I have no emotions.

I too can be happy.
I can smile and laugh if I ever want to.
It only depends whether I want to or not, I guess.
I'm just deep in thoughts.
Spacing out sometimes, pretending I was listening everything I was suppose to hear.

Maybe I don't want to lose.
For the less you have, the less you lose.
Less pain, hurt, betrayal,unjust.

~*.:: Regrettion is what you get for what you have done. ::.*~

-Orange